Things Are Lookin’ Up

What’s up!

I’m back to blogging from my dorm room at school and I’m so happy about it! Even though El Niño has been a vibe kill, I have been feeling a lot better since being back here. I decided to make a Spotify playlist (if you don’t use Spotify who are you???) with songs that will pump be up and bring back the good vibes while I’m walking to class at 7:30 a.m. decked out in rain gear and the wind splashing rain water into my face. The playlist varies in genre (literally goes from rap to electronic to rock) but in my opinion it’s pretty great.

You can listen to the playlist by clicking here

Also, I accomplished something extremely exciting and kind of life changing (well temporarily) today! I signed a lease for an off campus apartment. I talked about not really having much desire to go back to my hometown over summer break and so I’m super excited because this lease is from June 2016 – June 2017. I’ll still go home for about two weeks after the school quarter ends because I can’t move in until June 23rd but that’s okay. My plans are to get job over the summer break, take community college classes, and lay on the beach on the weekends *insert emoji with sunglasses.* I’ll be living with my friends Maria, Cynthia, and Jose. We’re all really looking forward to it, especially decorating the apartment. We don’t have much money to do that, but we’ll work with what we have. So basically I’m pretty happy despite midterms sneaking up on me and having a ton of history reading to do.

xoxo,

Jul

Being in my hometown

If you don’t know, I moved away from my hometown this past September for school. I moved to Santa Barbara/Isla Vista. Since then, I’ve come back to my hometown over Thanksgiving break and now during winter break and I do not like it. I hate saying that I don’t like being home because it sounds so harsh and like I don’t like being around my family. That’s not really the case though because I do like seeing my family again. I just really don’t like being home for longer than a few days because I get so bored here. It’s just not the city for me anymore. Every time I come back and it turns night and I lay in my bed, I feel all those awful feelings I felt back in middle school and high school. I feel all those feelings of not knowing what to do with my life, loneliness, and utter lack of purpose. I think I’ve gone to sleep sad 2/3 of the nights here. I tried to fix that by completely rearranging my room to make it feel more lived in and happy but it didn’t have great results. When I come back here, it’s supposed to be a relaxing break but I just end up feeling terrible. I had not felt those feelings while living on my own in Santa Barbara (except for finals week but I think that’s normal because everyone’s stressed about finals).

On top of those feelings, I’ve always felt very socially independent (if that’s a thing). What I mean is that I’m totally okay with going to the store by myself, sitting in my room by myself, and basically just going through life by myself. At home, my parents want to do everything together or they come into my room every twenty minutes to check up on me as if one day they’re going to come into the room and I’m going to be dead or have runaway. I know I sound super selfish and bratty and you’re probably thinking that I should be grateful for a caring family and a place to live free of rent, but I had just gotten so accustomed to being on my own and not have to be accompanied everywhere I go. I think having my family around me all the time also brought feelings of being trapped and just not free to do what I want. The other night I literally had a mini mental breakdown – tears and struggling to breath, the whole works. Basically I was lying in bed feeling absolutely awful. If I were in my dorm room I would have gotten up walked outside and gone for a walk or a bike ride or to a friend like I did during finals week. However, at home I realized that I literally could not go anywhere. I couldn’t leave the house because the door is locked and their is an alarm set. I can’t even cry in peace because the house is so quiet that I would wake up my parents and then they would question why I was crying, etc. It just really freaks me out that I’m on lockdown here.  I think that this reaction to being back home is fairly normal though. I have had this issue though in hotels where I can’t just get up and leave the hotel room for a walk. This also happens in planes where I literally can’t escape. It’s probably an actual mental issue that I think I can write a whole post on but for now I should probably just be grateful my parents care at all to keep me safe.

Another weird thing about being back in my hometown is that my hometown doesn’t really feel like home anymore. Things look different but also the same. It’s very odd. I also notice that there is so little to do here other than shop, eat, or go to the movies. Sure I have LA near me but I don’t have a car to drive anymore so that makes it difficult to go there. Even then if I don’t have money to spend there isn’t much to do. On top of that, I don’t really have many friends here. I would go places alone but my parents aren’t too fond of me going places by myself. I would just tell them I’m hanging out with my high school friends but then I know my mom would want full detailed updates on their lives which I don’t think I can make up. I’ve really found myself missing my college friends and all the fun we would have back in Santa Barbara. I honestly wish I could spend New Years in the place that I’m actually going to spend the majority of my year in. I know that in Santa Barbara I would be with my friends but in my hometown my only plans are to watch Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin Eve in my pajamas and a massive bowl of popcorn beside me. I’m really hoping that I can feel happy again on New Year’s Eve because I would hate to ring in the new year sad. I’m trying not to let these bad feelings get to me too much because I’m leaving to go back to Santa Barbara on Saturday and soon things will be back to normal.

I’ve realized that I need to face the problem and come up with a resolution. Basically my problem is being in my hometown for long periods of time. The next time I’m supposed to be back is spring break which is only a week so I should be okay. But after that I have summer break which is extremely long. Option one is to get an internship in another city. This is not as easy as it seems, especially as a freshman. Option two is to study abroad for summer. There is a cool program in Paris that involves fashion marketing so I’m going to apply for that. Option three is to take community college classes to fulfill my GEs or for graphic design, marketing, and/or web design. I’m not sure what college I would do this at though. I took CC classes last summer at a college near my hometown but I had a car at that time and was easily able to get there. This summer I won’t have a car so I would have to bus there. I’m planning on getting a job this quarter so if I can actually save money I could try to get an apartment somewhere where I could take public transport to a college. I could maybe stay in Isla Vista. We’ll see. Basically I just need to start figuring things out and planning for the future which I’m not a fan of. I typically go through most aspects of my life with that “wing it” or “figure it out when the time comes” mindset but that needs to change.

This post has been long and probably depressing but I promise I have enjoyed many moments in my hometown. I won’t lie though. I am counting down the days until I can leave. Also the last paragraph was me kind of organizing my thoughts that were all scrambled up in my mind. I feel a lot better after writing this post. I’m going to listen to some music and chill now, which I’ve been doing a ton of while on break so expect some sort of music related post soon!

xoxo,

Jul

 

December

It’s time to say goodbye to 2015 and hello to 2016! I always love this time of the year, the end, because it’s a good time to start new, refresh myself, and just to reflect on the past year. Today though, I’m just reflecting on this past month, December.

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These are the super cut decorations my RA set up in the hall lounge. The string lights are year round decorations but my RA amped them up with snowflakes and tinsel. I took this photo after admiring it/procrastinating in studying for finals. Half of December consisted of dead week, the week where students study like crazy for finals, and finals week. I have never study as much nor consumed as much caffeine as I did during those two weeks. I passed all my classes though so it was worthwhile.

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As an early Christmas gift, my roommate got Jingle Ball LA tickets for her, my other roommate and me! It was super fun and I got to listen to so much music. This photo is of One Direction. I’m 99% sure that was the last time I will ever see them because to be honest, I lack any hope that they’ll come back after their “hiatus.”

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I also got to see Joe Jonas with his band, DNCE. They were super funky and fun. Also Joe Jonas is still a babe, although I was always a Nick girl.

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My favorite part of the show though was The Weeknd’s set. I sang my little heart out! I had wanted to see The Weeknd for so long. I’m so happy and thankful that I finally got to. Although I had a ton of fun at this concert, it made me realize that I’m really not into concerts where the majority of the crowd is younger than me and extremely fangirly.

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This month I also went to see the snow with my parents. We went to the Lake Elsinore Village and then stopped on the side of the road to actually touch the snow.

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This snowman took me quite a while to make. Props to the people who build massive snowmen and snowcaves! I’m such a wimp when it comes to the cold. The snow is not for me but it is so pretty to look at (from the inside of a cabin or a car).

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I also went to a Mariachi Concert which is super random. I don’t even like mariachi music but my uncle got the tickets for free so I went. I wasn’t really a fan of the music but I did enjoy watching the dancers!

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This is where the concert was held. It was super fancy inside and also huge.

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On Christmas Eve, my family and I just hung out at our house. We ate dinner, played Just Dance, and relaxed.

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On Christmas Day, after going to church, my family went over to my grandparents house. We ate a ton of pozole, tamales, and cookies. We even held an ugly sweater cookie decorating contest. Mine won prettiest which I was proud of because I spent a ridiculous amount of time making it. We also had a pinata and all the kids took turns wearing the remains of it as a hat. It was a really nice Christmas. Also, I don’t think I ate a single vegetable on Christmas day.

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I’m ending this post with a selfie because why not? I just thrifted this sweater and I’m super happy about it because it gives me UNIF vibes. It’s actually a little more vibrant in person. Anyway, that’s all for this post. Happy New Years!

xoxo,

Jul

My Shiny Boots and Me

Hello! In case you didn’t get it, the title of this post is a reference to one of my favorite cartoons growing up, the Fairly Odd Parents. There was a song in an episode called “My Shiny Teeth and Me.” When I got these boots I kept singing “my shiny boots and me.” I thought I was super clever and funny and that I should make it the title of this blogpost. Anyway, on to the boot talk. I got these boots from Forever 21 for under $20 because they were 50% off! Finding them felt like true love. I believe it was meant to be because they were the only lone pair and they were my size, 5 1/2, which is super difficult to find. I’ve worn them every single day since getting them. They’re a deep red/maroon wine color which I was a little unsure about I’m used to black shoes, but they are actually a whole lot more fun to style. Here’s one look!

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xoxo,

Jul

November

Hey, it’s me popping back in after a month, but what’s new right? Also it’s already the 11th of December and I’m barely recapping on November, but I’ve been really busy and stressed these past two weeks of December because of finals. I’ll have more on that in next month’s recap post. For now here’s my past November!

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This past month I realized how utterly obsessed I am with my school. Pretty much everything from the campus to the overall chill vibe just makes me so happy. I always feel guilty for not wanting to go home over breaks but who can blame me when I go to school on the beach with all my friends? I don’t know how I’m going to be able to leave for the summer or even after I graduate.

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I high key really like this picture because colored lights always look so awesome in pictures.

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I took this photo when I went downtown with my friends Jose and Cynthia. We went to Forever 21 (don’t remember why I shouldnt’ have been spending money anyway) and then got hungry so we took the bus for like half an hour to Chick-Fil-A.  It’s really a bummer that the closest Chick-Fil-A to UCSB is not close at all. I guess that gives me an excuse to eat it a lot while I’m in my hometown!

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After getting back from Chick-Fil-A, my friends and I went out. We tried getting into this frat party that was decked out in Christmas lights and having a full blown Christmas party but since we had guys in our group they wouldn’t let the guys in, only the girls. So we felt bad for them and decided to go to another party, buuut while we were walking we snuck away from them and went back to the Christmas party. It was the greatest thing. There were Christmas trees, people were dressed up in santa hats and ugly Christmas sweaters, Michael Buble was playing inside the house, and there was even fake snow. That party and the Christmas spirit really just made my night.

 

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One day, I had an awful amount of reading to complete so I decided to take my books down to the beach. It was super windy and cold but 100% worth it.

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On Tuesday the 24th, I took the train back to my hometown.

 

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It was really weird being back in my hometown and seeing how some things changed and how so much stayed the same. I also experienced that odd feeling of not feeling at home in my hometown and really missing my home back in my dorm at UCSB. I also missed my friends from UCSB but I also enjoyed hanging out with my friends from high school. It’s all just very strange but it is nice to come back and relax, even though I did have to write a paper while on Thanksgiving break.

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I also got to see my sister!

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On Friday, my family and I went to my grandpa’s house for our annual tamale making day. Before the tamale making got started, my cousin got the idea to take a polaroid photo of everyone who was there. It was a real struggle to get the whole family in the shot because our family is so big (and that was only about half of the family). The photo came out so cute though and it made everyone super happy because we hardly ever take big group photos like that.

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On Sunday, it was my sister’s 23rd birthday and she really wanted to check out our city’s tamale festival. I volunteered there last year so it was fun and weird to go back and just enjoy it and not be working. I ate two tamales and they were so great. Tamale season is the best.

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That Sunday I also left to go back to UCSB and mentally prepare for dead week, a.k.a the week where students study like crazy before finals week. That’s all I have for this post. Oh also, I’m currently back in my old room right now and I have a camera so I’m going to try and make more fashion related posts!

xoxo,

Jul

How I Style T-Shirts

I’m finally back with another fashion post! I took these photos before moving which is why they’re in my old room. Anyway, t-shirts are my go to clothing item so I decided to make a whole post about them.

#1: Printed T-Shirt Dress

I’ve always liked the look of mixed prints (I think that stems from looking at the fashion of disney channel stars growing up) but I’ve found that it can be challenging to actually put together an outfit that doesn’t look weird. I think it helps to choose a black and white or neutral print and one colored print instead of two colorful printed pieces.

dress: Forever 21

flannel: thrifted

sandals: Marshalls

# 2: Crop T-Shirt

Throwing on a pair of my favorite denim shorts and a cropped t-shirt was something I did almost everyday after moving to SB. It’s quick, extremely comfortable, and can be switched up with different graphic shirts.

t-shirt: thrifted

shorts: thrifted

shoes: Converse

# 3: Layering

A no-brainer way to spice up a dress you wear often or you’re just bored of is to layer a t-shirt over it. I think this outfit would look pretty cool with a leather jacket.

t-shirt: Walmart/DIY

dress: Buffalo Exchange/Mink Pink

boots: Steve Madden

# 4: T-Shirt Dress (Again)

The fact that I’m featuring two t-shirt dresses in this post just exhibits how much I adore t-shirt dresses. This is another easy way to wear t-shirt dresses. Chuck on a denim jacket on top and some converse and you’re ready to go!

t-shirt dress: Buffalo Exchange

jacket: thrifted

shoes: Converse

That’s all I’ve got for this post. I’m all out of outfit/fashion photos right now but hopefully I’ll take some when I go home for Thanksgiving break!

xoxo,

Jul